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A Salute To #TheLastParent {& 11 Lessons My Dad Gave Me}
It has been one month and six days since my last parent took his final breath. We expected it was coming, yet we still hoped for more time. Life often surprises us with its uncertainty.
Last Father’s Day I wrote about how my dad was my hero and how much I admired him. He gave his life to our family and served our country. Early in life he felt called to be a soldier and served in the United States Navy.
While in the Navy he began getting sick. He would unexpectedly fall asleep and at first pretended not to alarm others. Later he was diagnosed with narcolepsy and received an honorable discharge.
That did not stop his desire to serve.
Not long after, he became a Christian and felt called to serve in God’s army. He met my mom and they married in 1969. Narcolepsy made holding a regular job and driving difficult, so he adapted. He started his own business—Hudson’s Roofing Construction Company—and ran it proudly for over 30 years. Life doesn’t always hand you the best cards; he learned to make the most of what he had. {Lesson #1}
My dad always wanted to help others. You could find him on Detroit streets on Saturday nights talking with people in need—homeless men, drug dealers, and women working the streets—because he wanted to offer help where he could. Sometimes his generosity went farther than we thought wise. He once brought strangers to our home, which concerned my mother, but his heart was in the right place. Those experiences taught me compassion and to value every human life. {Lesson #2}
When my mom fell ill, my dad cared for her tenderly—bathing her, feeding her, wiping away her tears, and singing to her even though he wasn’t a singer. I watched him hold her as she took her last breath. That devotion showed me the true meaning of “for better or worse, in sickness and in health.” Witnessing that moment made me want a love like theirs: one that honors, respects, and stands by you until the end. {Lesson #3}
After my mom’s passing, my dad adjusted to living without her. In his final two years we grew closer. He couldn’t drive, so we helped wherever we could—even if it meant rearranging our lives to tend to his needs. He called often and we talked for hours about his Navy days, fond memories of my mom, and matters of faith. He was a devoted soldier for God and a serious student of the Bible, especially the book of Revelation. He traveled to witness, teach, and encourage others with his faith.
Although he often spoke of being ready to go, I am grateful for the time we had to study Scripture together. He frequently said, “Salvation is a wonderful thing,” and living alongside his faith shaped me deeply.
On May 19th, 2016, my dad took his last breath. Watching him go, I felt relief that his suffering ended and joy that he was reunited with my mom, along with a deep sadness that our last parent was gone. Often we only grasp the depth of someone’s influence after they are gone.
My dad taught me many lessons that only made more sense as I matured:
- When life hands you the unexpected, find another way to make it work.
- Have faith even when you can’t see it—believe and endure to the end.
- Earthly rewards are temporary; pursue what is eternal.
- Heroes are made through hardship—fall down and get back up.
- Stand passionately for what you believe, regardless of opposition.
- Be proud of who you are, regardless of those who judge or mock you.
Above all, he showed unconditional love—treating people with dignity even when they didn’t return it, when clients stiffed him, or when others ridiculed his illness. He carried himself with respect and pride. {Lessons #4-10}
At his funeral many people shared how my dad had impacted their lives. Hearing those testimonies revealed how widely he had touched others. Part of his service included an honorary military salute.
The 3-volley salute is a ceremonial act performed at military and police funerals in the United States as part of Honor Guard drill and ceremony. It consists of a rifle party firing blank cartridges into the air three times, a tradition rooted in historical battlefield customs.
Watching that salute was a powerful reminder of the commitment service members make to protect and serve our country. When the Honor Guard folded my dad’s flag and presented it to my youngest son, I felt immense pride knowing my father served his country honorably and now enjoys eternal rest. {Lesson #11}
My dad is buried alongside my mom at Fort Custer National Cemetery. Standing among so many graves of men and women who sacrificed for liberty and freedom made the meaning of their commitment clear and humbling.
I take comfort in imagining my dad’s eternal freedom—the ultimate gift that his sacrifice helped bring him. Live so you can live again; that is the lesson I carry forward.
Thank you, Dad, thank you Derrick (my husband, who served in the Air Force), and thank you to every soldier who has served and continues to serve our country.
Before you go, I want to share a campaign the Kleenex® Brand is running at Kroger and Kroger banner stores. For every Kleenex® Facial Tissue 4-pack bundle purchased, Kleenex® will donate one pocket pack to the USO. With millions serving on active duty and in the reserves, this is a small way to honor our heroes and show appreciation for their service. The Kroger Co. Family of Stores and the USO have supported military communities for years, raising millions to help USO programs.
My local Kroger carried participating Kleenex® bundle packs, and Kroger also ran giveaways where shoppers could share personal “hero stories” using the hashtag #HonoringOurHeroes.
Do you have someone in your life who served our country? I’d love to hear their story—please share the hero in your life.